Plight of the Futon

So we got a futon.  It’s for Rysa’s mother, whom we’re trying to get to move up here near us, so she has somewhere better to sleep and eventually a couch.  It was supposed to be delivered Thursday before she came up Saturday (today), but the deliveryman didn’t wait for us to answer (between washing my hands in the bathroom and getting to the front door, he was gone), didn’t leave the package, and didn’t leave it at the front office.  That’s three strikes and we’re pissed.

We asked that it remain at a pickup location, but it took a full day for it to arrive.  Yesterday late-morning, we hopped in Bot and went over to pick it up.  This box is massive.  80″ x 30″ x 12″.  Team-lift.  They had someone help us load it, but it only fit by moving the front passenger seat as far forward as possible and tilting it forward.  The box was wedged in tight.  However, putting down the backseat for the futon meant Rys had to sit in the front or walk home.  She barely fit and demanded she be let out before we even got inside of the complex.  At this point, we believe the deliveryman purposely didn’t wait for the sake of not having to carry that thing out.

Finally arrived, we decided it would be easier to bring the futon in piece by piece rather than try to team-lift it ourselves up our precarious back porch and into the apartment.  By this time, it’s cold and raining, but I’m under the covered parking.  I spent a good 30-60 minutes cutting away at the packaging to remove each piece until it was all inside and the box ready for disposal.  The recycling bin was already filled, so the bite-sized pieces will have to wait until they’re emptied, because the recycling bins are always full.

We had to move the blue loveseat out to make room for the futon, so Rys moved it into her room.  It’s already covered in laundry and knickknacks.  I began putting together the futon frame… and it’s 10″ wider than the loveseat and our side table together had been.  So now we have something jutting into our hallway (which is already pretty narrow), no table, and we had to inch my oversized chair over further into the dining room passage.

Putting it together wasn’t too hard, it was meant to be easy, but the mattress (which is memory foam and came in a vacuum-sealed bag) decided to start filling with air all the way in our kitchen.  We had to drag it through the kitchen and dining room to the far side of the living room, hoist it up onto the futon, cut away the plastic, and then we learned that the futon can’t be opened or closed with the mattress on it.  It’s just too heavy.  Pulled it back off and the spring mechanisms are splayed because the mattress was so heavy.  We got it lined up and have decided to leave it closed indefinitely.  It’s a sofa, if anyone wants it open they can hire their own team to help them open it.

At this point, this thing is either going to leave with Rysa’s mother in the next month or we’re (I’m) going to set it on fire.

Yeah, that’s pretty much it.

Have a good weekend!


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