Itchy Ape Bread! (Ape Bread, from scratch)

Ape Bread 4

I wanted to try my hand at more Ape Bread (particularly with a less-buttery biscuit base), so I made some from scratch this time.  This biscuit recipe is one I got from Food Network and I fiddled in some chocolate to go with the Oreos.

Major differences from the previous batch:
plain, from-scratch biscuits vs. canned, buttery Grands
chocolate and oreos inside the biscuits
cocoa powder, peppermint flavoring, and oreo creme in the glaze
bake time/temperature

These changes made a significant difference in the texture and taste of the ape bread!    While they’re terrible at pulling apart, the chocolate flavor is throughout the bread itself.  They remind me of a dessert version of chicken ‘n dumplings – chunks of bread, chunks of cookie, all floating in a creamy soup…

This recipe is a little “dry” on the inside; they aren’t like a desert, but rather they make you thirsty.  Keep some milk handy when eating these! (and some water and possibly insulin injections…)

Itchy Ape Bread
AKA, Ape Bread from scratch
(Get it?  You scratch an itch?  Good.)


  • 2 cups AP flour
  • 4 tsp baking powder
  • ¼ tsp baking soda
  • ¾ tsp salt
  • ½ tsp unsweetened cocoa powderA
  • 2 Tbsp butter, chilled and cubed
  • 2 Tbsp coconut oil
  • 1 cup chilled buttermilk (we used powdered + water)
  • 8-12 Oreos


  • 1 cup powdered sugar
  • 1 tsp unsweetened cocoa powderB
  • Milk, as needed
  • 1 drop peppermint flavoring


  1. Preheat the oven to 450F.
  2. Separate your Oreos; the cream into a mixing bowl, the cookies into a plastic bag.
  3. Crush the Oreo cookies into fine pieces/powder.
  4. In a large bowl, combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, cocoa powderA, and a little more than half of the crushed Oreos. Mix lightly.
  5. When mixed, rub in the butter and coconut oil with your fingertips. (You want them to stay cool, so fingertips only, and you don’t want it pulverized.)  The mixture should look like crumbs.
  6. Form a well in the center of the mix and pour in your buttermilk (mix your buttermilk powder + water beforehand, if necessary). Stir just enough to combine.
  7. Turn dough out onto a floured surface, knead 5-6 times, and roll into 1” balls.
  8. Spray your 9” cake pan and the base of an empty glass jar with baking spray (or cooking spray + light coating of flour). Place the jar base-down in the center of the pan.
  9. Set your dough balls around the pan. I got 2 rings perfectly.  Sprinkle over with half of the remaining cookie crumbs.
  10. Bake 15-20 minutes.  You will be able to see the top of the bread balls turning golden brown despite the chocolate.
  11. While baking, combine powdered sugar, Oreo crème, cocoa powderB, peppermint flavoring, and 1-2 Tbsp of milk in a small bowl.  This will require some whisking.  Depending on the humidity in the air and in the mixture, you may add milk as necessary to get a liquid glaze.
  12. When the biscuits are done, drizzle the glaze on top and sprinkle all remaining cookie pieces. Let cool before eating.
  13. Enjoy!

I’d love to know if anyone makes this recipe and how it turns out!  Lemme know and send me pics if you do!



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